Somewhere between THIS and THAT...there was a really hard time going on in my head. You know, the things you can't get out, things you wish your mind would skip around or avoid altogether, but instead these are the things that CONSUME you? When they call it a "Battlefield of the Mind"...its because a life WITH God and yet STILL being human, can really cause a natural conflict.
I believe that sometimes we really do trust people. When we give a piece of ourselves away, not only are we admitting it to another, but we're saying it out loud to ourselves. Sometimes, being completely honest to ourself is whats truly the toughest.
So, when we remember that whether or not we are saying things out loud to ourselves or anyone else, God knows and hears our every thought. And that's OK. You know why? Because God is biased. He loves us more than anyone else ever could, and especially more than we know how to love ourselves. HE gets us...HE has "got us" from the beginning of time. Individually. And He knows that being completely honest with ourselves might even cause us to "think" that He loves us a little less. That never has been and never will be true.
God never left me. God has been my soul's dependence since I was born, and the minute I finally recognized that, was when my life changed. He is my strength, my trust, my love, and my security. He never left me. Why? Because He KNOWS me...and Loves me anyway.
So remembering this...makes me feel so much better. :)
"Dragging my fears out the door. Lord I'm still trying my hardest.
All I have, all i have, well you know it's Yours. Every breath, every step, every moment I'm looking for. All I have is Yours" -Mat Kearney "All I Have"
