Simple Thoughts about an Awesome God

Today has been... one of those days. When something inside of you just feels like you really need to let it out.
So you think about it...and try to figure out what it is that's messing around with your head. You don't know. You can't figure it out. Maybe if you just vent about something to someone it'll come out on its own. Does that make sense? Sometimes when you get to talking with one of your closest friends, you end up saying more off the top of your head and end up being honest with what's actually going on. Sometimes you find out that you needed to be honest with yourself. You just didn't know it...ha.

Well today...I woke up and went to work SUPER early. 7:00am shift. (i mean, i guess people with REAL jobs can relate...) But to me...thats not my usual day. So maybe I was tired but I dunno, today I just felt like I had something pressing on my mind too much. Frustration. Irritation. Maybe a little anger? ha. That emotion I don't like. But truthfully, I think I felt it today. I didn't even know why? Maybe I subconsciously let something build up. I'm always telling people to "Feel how you feel! Don't hold back." You can't help how you feel sometimes and its ok to just be honest with yourself. Better yet, its MORE than ok. It's healthy.

Well, so, I came home from work and just felt like I needed to let something go. And frankly, I needed to figure out who was gonna be my "venterator." (---its off Gilmore Girls)
So I was at the apartment, by myself...and was just feeling like I needed to "talk it out"..."take a load off"...you know what I mean. And now for the serious moment...I needed to let myself BE myself. Completely. Not half-hearted or 75% of me. All of me.

There's only a few options of who I can go to. But truth is...sometimes I want people to just listen and not offer solutions. So I don't call anybody....instead I just decided to flip my Bible open and start reading. (i love to read it. and i only say that because its THAT good :)
but usually when I do that, expecting something PERFECT to pop out when i open it up, its completely off my "needed" subject haha.

But not today.

Today I barely opened it...since I only made it to book 2 out of 66. Exodus. ??? I was kind of aiming for the red letters...but I just started to read. The perfect verse popped out.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Read the whole book and guess which one it was.

ha. Just kidding. It was Exodus 33:11 "Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face...as one speaks to a friend."

Granted...I told God I wish I could speak to him face to face. But...the point is...I can talk to Him like he's my friend. And I'm not embarrassed to say that. I'm confidently saying it...

He is my friend. He's been my friend longer than anyone has. He's been there with me to cry out to my WHOLE life. And I have. And thanks to Him I have peace in my life. Because He's that great to me.

So the point I'm trying to make...is that I literally stopped reading further. Made myself a latte. And just talked to God. (If that's weird to anyone...sorry...but we're that close)

And without details...let's just say...I feel much better now. He's the friend I needed to go to. He's the friend who actually CAN do something about my life. He's the friend who always does.

I love God. (simple thing to say, powerful to feel)

I really do. He is my best friend. And I'm so grateful that God gets me.

I'm Thankful for...Life.

So, I've been looking at my life lately. I mean, literally. I've had about 20+ video tapes that I haven't been able to watch in about 4-5 years due to the fact I sold my only video camera that played them. So I bought a used camera 2 weeks ago to finally watch them again. Back to the point...I'm 'watching' myself, my old friends, my little sisters and our neighbors walk around my house, talking about nothing important, laughing at silly things...abbouuut 8 years ago.
"I don't want anyone to see this!"- said 17 year old insecure me.
(Whitney turned the camera around to ME after a hangout me, her, and Drew had for my birthday...at Sonic ;) That was my "group". Me, Whitney, Drew. The 3 of us grew up together. My core friends. The ones who mattered most.
Then the tape switches to Castle Drive's 'New Years Eve Game Night'. All the snack foods, all my friends ages 6-18 running around, the moms sitting around talking in a little circle as the dads and Art play cards ;)
Its so weird to see all the kids and how they've all grown up! I mean, yes, I was kind of a kid too...but at least I was driving back then!ha. My littlest sister Stefanie was only 11 years old. She's in COLLEGE now. Its so weird to me! I mean, her little voice is so High-pitched in these videos! I'd like to show some of these videos of everyone, but I'm sure they'd all be embarrassed...(ha, maybe one day)
And the tape switches again...to our classic homemade film "Can't Kill the Dead"...haha Lindsey crawls out from behind some bricks and 'dead' Jesse, Tory, and Emily all walk like zombies through a field. (speaking of which, we made this movie BEFORE the zombie hype came back again, just saying)
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So why am I writing about watching videos? Because, truth be told, I love watching my life. I've had such a good one. In honor of Thanksgiving...I am thankful to God for... my life. I grew up in such an amazing family. I love each and every one of them. It's a great big family on both sides. I'm thankful for my Grandparents, the ones still here, and the ones who see me from Heaven now. I watch these videos of Granddaddy and Nana alive and happy at Christmas, and have to pause it because I love seeing them smile. I miss them. But nevertheless, I'm thankful that I got to be their granddaughter. All four of my grandparents...I love so much.
I'm thankful I grew up at such a great small church. We were family. The way it should be. I know some of us are all over the place (in location) now, but my heart is still close to them all. I'm thankful to God for that.
I'm thankful my parents let me move to NY...(thats a pretty big deal) I love them for letting me go. Sometimes I'm not sure exactly WHY I'm here...but I feel like there is purpose. And my parents support that. Because they're pretty great too ;)
I'm thankful for all my friends. These video tapes have more than family and church. They have my high school days (ABS had some crazy memories), have my first years of college, the CSC movies, all my friends from the theater, just ...PEOPLE. I'm thankful I've met so many great people in my life so far...and hope and pray it just continues. I love every one of them. I love when I get to see them even if its just 2 hours to catch up at a Starbucks. Our lives take us everywhere, but when we are together, time stops. People...the most important in life.

So if you managed to read my "Thankful list" this year, ha...thanks. I hope you have lots that you're thankful for too. Through my life's story I've learned one thing...

With God in your life...it makes the journey beautiful. Life is not perfect, it has its hard things and hard times. But LIFE without God...isn't life at all. He'll help you see all that is good in your life. He's the giver :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Life & Death...and Love

Jesus once said to a friend,
"I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this Martha?"

"Many, if not most, people are afraid of dying. Some people fear being dead, while others are afraid of the actual act of dying. Many people's fear of death is tied into their religious beliefs, particularly if they happen to be going through a period of questioning. Some people think that they know what will happen after death, but worry that they may be wrong."

Well its raining here in Staten Island today...kind of gloomy out. But its not why I'm thinking about "death." It seems that many people that I love...have a lot of questions towards the topic sometimes. So I'm writing to try and bring some peace, from what I honestly believe, maybe even learned...from my personal journey with God.

Have you ever noticed how on the NEWS so many things pertain to death? We're always impressed by new medical DISCOVERIES, or preventions, or we hear about shootings, or traumas, or disasters, etc. etc. etc.

Sometimes "The News" can be depressing. But then again, it just depends on how you Look at It.

Do we ever look up and remember how small we are? How many of us have tons of questions in this life? We have so many things we want to understand...and yet, sometimes we don't get or find the answers...

But I believe that its so awesome to even look to God and ask the questions anyway. Just to remember that God cares about our all of our questions...and, doesn't judge our fears...

Because...we are all human. And we are all very very small.

And that helps remind us we have a very big God who wants to reach for us. And He does EVERY time.

Jesus reached for us. He reached out both His arms 'with a love that quiets all our FEARS'...He did everything to bring us back. But also to calm us and bring us peace on earth.

So when at the very beginning I posted a quote from Jesus...where He tells his friend she'll never die...if she will just trust Him...

Jesus came to bring us back...and He did it. Because we can have Life on earth. It begins NOW. And never ceases. A life with Great love. So in this life, whether we see everyone we love every day, or we have to call them or text them, or skype them...or the harder kinds that we can only talk to them the way we talk to God...we long to tell them how much we miss them. Because I do too...

And this thing we call "death"...isn't really death the way the world sees it.

Death seems to be a type of "physical" distance sometimes. I've witnessed many types of "deaths" in this life, sometimes its even a type of "death" representing a change in a persons' life. But the "ending of somebody's earthly life" kind of death, is one of the hardest types of death. All we can trust is that its not how we think it is.

So Jesus tells his friends, "I've got THIS. Do you believe me?"

That though we don't really understand it...its ok. He loves us and promises not to let us go. And "Death" is just a distance...until we SEE, in a physical sense, who we long to see again. And we will. So, until then we keep letting each and every one we love and miss know how much we miss them. Because I believe our Love crosses all distances and barriers...and I'm thankful for that.

Death was defeated. So even when its hard, and we hurt, we can still remember the Peace and Trust we have in Jesus. To SEE each person we love again...and all live together with our Great God. Its our Faith and promise of Hope.


(i miss and love you Nana and Granddaddy)

In my weakness...

Psalm 103:14
For he knows how weak we are;he remembers we are only dust.

Psalm 73:26
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,but God remains the strength of my heart;he is mine forever.

2 Corinthians 11:30
If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Lately, in just the past day or two...I've had "life circumstances" that could easily make me feel as if I have "no control." Now, some would say, "nobody ever has control"...but we act as if we do ALL the time. We say things like, "oh ill figure it out", "no worries, i got this under control", "not a problem", "ill do this AND that", "i'm a problem solver", "i'm self-sufficient"...

We may, at the end of the day, realize we don't really have the control...but too often we get up and believe we do all over again. And I think Jesus sometimes looks at our SELF-confidence, laughs a little, and in all sincerity says, "did you know, you're quite the ACTOR?" ;)

So we constantly put on a show, like we have some bit of control. Now, not to mean something different, we should let ourselves be confident that "we can do all things through Christ." The only problem that some of us have is not allowing ourselves the FREEDOM to say and feel weak when we do. Because the truth is...we all do. And maybe, that's when we can easily surrender to God. Sadly, we too often do this as a last resort. But nevertheless, when we break ourselves down and admit how IN NEED we are... God takes our weakness and says, "Just remember I am with you and will carry your burden if you let me."

"In our weakness, He is strong" His power works BEST in our weakness. You'd think we'd allow ourselves to realize how weak and dependent we are on God more often! So this week, I'm gonna give myself a break. I'm letting anyone and everyone know that I am truly human, and FULLY dependent on God for any strength in my life. He is life, and with Him I can overcome anything.

"From Eternity to Eternity...I am God."- Isaiah 43:13

And this is what our lives come down to. You are in one of two categories based on this one thing.
Or so says Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis.
You either do BELIEVE or do NOT believe...

in God.

With Freud...it was denial til the day he died...or so it seemed. Goodness, if we know what someone admits or denies in their last breath of life...
but the point is, Freud chose to live the majority of his life in disbelief in a higher power/being that could possibly love him for him...

and the truth is...THAT should make us sad.

I'm not sitting over here sad about Freud's soul (not my call)...I'm sad about a life that missed out on knowing the source of Love. Would anything have been able to change that?
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So let's play this out: Say Freud is alive and standing right in front of you...with all his psychoanalysis papers in his hand, all his success displayed by plaques, certificates, and medals screaming his achievements on the walls.

He looks at you, you alone, somehow with his guard down and simply asks...
"Why do you believe in God?"

Do you quote the Bible? Do you quickly invite him to your church? Do you try to get Freud to open his eyes and look around? Do you try to use psychological terms to explain God? Do you explain "God moments" that happened in your life? Does it really just come down to "faith"? Explaining to him that you honestly, CAN'T prove it to him? I mean, come on, even people long ago looked Jesus in the eye and didn't believe Him...

So what do you DO? How would you answer him??

After lots of thinking...and questioning, and praying...and searching...and praying some more...all I've really come up with is this....not necessarily what works best, or what God wants everyone to say...BUT...I would look at Freud(or anyone who asks that question) and say...

"Seek Him out for yourself. Go looking for God. Continually search for Him. Don't be afraid to ask Him questions. He can handle those. And let yourself WANT to find Him. Then tell me why you do or still don't believe in God. Then maybe you'll know my answer."

They say for most of Freud's life he searched to find PROOF that there could not be a god. What a hard goal to make out of life...
If he had actually searched FOR God...do you think he would not have found who and what he was looking for??

Its just a challenge. Everyone has their reasons why they "do NOT" believe in God. Which makes them who they are...and God knows that too. But I say, WHY NOT seek out God? See what YOU find...I feel like that's the best part of life here...you can find God more and more everywhere you go...through people you meet...through what you read...through stories you hear...through creation all around us. God speaks...when you seek and listen, and stay open to THE God who loves the whole world and You. FOR you.

------God is good-------

"Hold on to the One who's holding you..."

I have written about 5 blogs over the past 3 months...and didn't post any of them. I don't think I have 'writer's block' because I actually wrote quite a bit on each of them...

But. I have just had so much on my mind the past few months...that trying to put any of it into a single entry was almost impossible for my brain. Hence the reason, most of the entries stopped in the middle...

So, AFTER Six Months of living in NYC/Staten Island...

This is what I have learned...

Being away from HOME, the South, KNOWING PEOPLE, having a job, knowing my way around places...

has been the BIGGEST step in my life thus far.

I've always liked the song 'One Step at a Time' by Jordin Sparks. Seemed to come on at the most random times in the past few years. Always reminding me that all I have to do is take ONE step...at a time. That's all! Just one. Well, this wasn't just your average 'step'. It was a very very tall step. Eventually you think you'll get all the way on it with both feet, but I had the hardest time getting onto it. ha...should I stop trying to use this metaphor?? I will. :)

Point is. My reality was, I felt very distanced from almost everything...from the people I loved. Even from PEOPLE in general. And sometimes even distanced from Myself. But the worst part was that somehow I didn't even notice that I was feeling 'distance' from God...not like it was His fault. I had just let my stress and worrying mind get the best of me. Distracting me from what God was trying to show me. I mean, I had my days when I had SO much faith...and others when I was like, "what did I do coming here?"....honestly.

This past month...the month before my visit back home...was actually the hardest.

All I had was questions. And my mental stress/pain/worry....started showing itself physically. My questions were... "Why am I here?" "What do you want me to do?" "Did I pick the right degree?" "Do I need to figure out a new dream?" "Why is it so hard to make friends here?" "What can I do to figure out my next step??" "Danielle, what is NEXT?" From asking God...to planning it myself...

Ha...like I became a planner of my life?? When did I decide THAT?

Then last weekend...when I was off...because I frequently am...(another stresser)...I felt sick. My "mind stress" made me feel nauseous allllll that week. EHHH....don't even wanna get into that. So last saturday I FINALLY took a much needed walk by myself.

It was about 7 o'clock...very cloudy, and windy. So in my sweatshirt pocket I had my mp3 player and I walked my lil' sick-feeling self all the way down a road by 2 cemeteries, a trashy sidewalk, and all the way to the end of the road where there was a pier. I walked onto it listening to my NY-Christian-music station...and seeing all these men and their sons fishing at the end of the pier. I had been crying on my walk so I stood off by myself from all the people. Standing on the middle of the pier and leaning over the side, I looked at the windy waters and watched the sun going down somewhere behind the clouds.

Can you picture it? Sometimes you just have to be there. Go somewhere where you get to see the ocean and the all the distance. Where the ocean touches the sky...that picture. And the way the wind blows through the water and how it blows across your face. So then I heard a song about letting you faith rise...reminding me that God is always faithful. Let me repeat. God is ALWAYS faithful. Even when we don't see it, because we don't see through His eyes...we're still reminded to trust Him. Because He is faithful to fill us with all that we need...which is His love. So I finally gave in and remembered how to let God love me...

And that was it. More than enough. I soaked it all in and took off walking back to my apartment with my re-newed and re-strengthened faith in the only one who holds my life together. God is so good to me.

And now, like I said, its been 6 months...and I'm ready to come home. To FEEL the love :) And then I'll get myself back up to my new home in Staten Island, NY. Because truthfully...my home is wherever God is...and He's everywhere...in everyone all around me. Who knows what will happen the rest of this first year? In 6 months ya just never know.... :)

By Faith...

If I told you I was about to take a HUGE leap of faith into a very unpredictable life...what would you say to me? Would you give me advice? Would you FIRST ask me WHAT huge leap of faith I was even about to take?

Maybe it's not my job to tell you. Maybe it's very personal. Maybe its what you DO see...but also what you don't see...because...all YOU need to know is my status in life at the moment...

Name: Danielle M. McClure
Purpose: Only God knows.
Relationship status: God is my soul's desire.

The rest, you don't have to know. I believe in "Opportunity for Destiny." At least right now I do.
This is my take on it all.....

I believe God has a very divine plan for my life...and the opportunity to SEIZE that life...is in my own FREE WILL-ed hands. It's in my hands...to Choose Him and His plan for my life.

Whether or not its in front of people, behind the scenes, or something completely unrevealed to even ME...it's there. He shows me only whats in front of me now...and one step at a time I go.

Would you agree that "one step at a time" may be the exact pace God likes to reveal things to us? Maybe you do. I believe it because that's all He seems to ask of me...to take one step at a time with Him. I think that's what He asks of us all. And so, if we keep our eyes on Him, He continues to lead the way...He WILL. He DOES. God gives us opportunity...for LIFE. A great life because its OUR journey with Him. It may not be easy. It may be straight-up HARD sometimes. But, we have the opportunity to have purpose...by giving in...to Him and His promise to strengthen us along the way. And His plans... to use us. I believe if we wake up to the reality around us...and what God seems to have set in front of each of us INDIVIDUALLY...our life, circumstances, beliefs, hearts desires, dreams, and even the PEOPLE in our lives...begin to take deeper meaning than we ever saw before. I BELIEVE...God has always had purpose for each of us. So we take another step forward, or jump on Faith alone...we pray and finally trust that God knows EXACTLY what He wants to do with us.

God is good. More random thoughts later.

cya